Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg’s letter-related quotes:

“I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.”

“I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write ‘I really enjoyed being here’, but I accidentally wrote ‘rarely’ instead of ‘really’. But I wanted to use it, I didn’t want to cross it out, so I wrote ‘I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There’s a lot of sh*t you don’t know about me. Quit trying to act like I’m a steamboat operator.’ I know this letter took a harsh turn right away.”

Hedberg on when paper and ink are unnecessary:

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut… I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, ‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here… It’s in my file at home. …Under “D”.

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2 Responses to Mitch Hedberg

  1. Maria says:

    Now I have this urge to send you a note or letter written with a highlighter. Hmm–I think I have a pink one that might work well. I’m going to try!

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